Privacy Policy | Local Business Rebellion

Or: "How We Handle Your Data Without Being Creepy Corporate Overlords"

Last Updated: August 1st 2025 | Next Scheduled Reality Check: When lawyers stop charging $500/hour

The Real Talk Opening

Look, we get it. Privacy policies are usually about as exciting as watching paint dry in a retirement home. But here's the thing - we actually wrote this one to be readable by humans, not just compliance robots and caffeine-addicted attorneys.

Bottom Line Up Front: We don't sell your data. We don't rent it out like a sketchy timeshare. We don't even let it crash on our couch without asking permission first.

What This Policy Covers (And Why You Should Actually Care)

This Privacy Policy applies to all our digital shenanigans, including:

• Our website (the pretty one you're reading right now)
• Our mobile apps (if we have them and they don't crash your phone)
• Our email communications (the ones you actually want to receive)
• Our SMS/text messaging services (because sometimes email is so 2010)
• Any other digital touchpoints where we interact with your magnificent existence

Geographic Scope: This policy covers everyone, everywhere - whether you're sipping coffee in Seattle, eating croissants in Paris, or wondering why you clicked on this link from literally anywhere on planet Earth.

Information We Collect (And Why We're Not Data Vampires)

Information You Voluntarily Share

When you decide we're worthy of your personal information, you might share:

• Contact Information: Name, email, phone number, address (the usual suspects)
• Account Details: Username, password (please make it stronger than "password123")
• Payment Information: Credit card details, billing address (handled by payment processors who know what they're doing)
• Communication Preferences: How you want us to reach you (and how you definitely don't)
• Profile Information: Demographics, preferences, that photo where you look fantastic

Information We Collect Automatically

Like a well-trained digital bloodhound, our systems automatically collect:

• Device Information: IP address, browser type, device type, operating system
• Usage Data: Pages visited, time spent, clicks, scrolls, and other digital breadcrumbs
• Location Data: If you let us know where you are (we promise not to show up uninvited)
• Cookie Data: Small files that remember your preferences (not the delicious kind, unfortunately)

SMS/Text Message Information

If you opt into our text messaging services:

• Phone Numbers: Obviously, because that's how texting works
• Message Content: What you send us and what we send you
• Delivery Information: Whether messages actually reach you or get lost in the digital ether
• Opt-out Requests: When you've had enough of our textual charm

How We Use Your Information (Plot Twist: Responsibly)

We use your information to:

Provide Our Services:

• Deliver what you actually signed up for
• Process payments without losing your money in the digital couch cushions
• Send you relevant communications (emphasis on relevant)
• Provide customer support that doesn't make you want to scream

Improve User Experience:

• Personalize content like a digital concierge
• Analyze usage patterns to make our stuff better
• Test new features before they break everything
• Fix bugs before they multiply like digital rabbits

Legal and Security:

• Comply with laws (even the boring ones)
• Prevent fraud and abuse
• Protect our users from digital bad actors
• Keep our lawyers happy and employed

SMS/Text Messaging Specifically:

• Send you updates, alerts, and promotional messages you opted into
• Provide customer service via text
• Send transactional notifications
• Process your opt-out requests faster than you can say "STOP"

Legal Basis for Processing (The GDPR Made Us Do It)

For our European friends and anyone else who cares about legal technicalities:

• Consent: When you explicitly say "yes, please"
• Contract Performance: When we need your info to deliver what you paid for
• Legitimate Interest: When it benefits both of us and doesn't violate your privacy
• Legal Obligation: When the law tells us we have to
• Vital Interest: In the rare case it's literally life or death (we're not doctors, so this is unlikely)

Information Sharing (Or: Who Gets Access to Your Stuff)

We DO NOT sell your personal information. Period. End of sentence. Not for money, not for fame, not even for really good pizza.

We DO share information with:

Service Providers:

• Payment processors (so you can actually buy things)
• Email service providers (to send you things you want)
• SMS service providers (for texting that actually works)
• Analytics providers (to understand what's working and what's not)
• Security services (to keep the bad guys out)

Legal Requirements:

• When subpoenaed (lawyers are scary)
• To comply with court orders
• To protect rights and safety
• To prevent fraud and abuse

Business Transfers:

• If we're acquired (but the buyer has to play by the same rules)
• During mergers or asset sales (with the same privacy commitments)

Your Rights (Because You're Not a Digital Serf)

For Everyone:

• Access: See what we have on file about you
• Correction: Fix inaccurate information
• Deletion: Ask us to forget you exist (right to be forgotten)
• Objection: Say "no thanks" to certain processing activities
• Portability: Take your data elsewhere if you want

For SMS/Text Recipients:

• Opt-out Anytime: Reply STOP to any message
• Frequency Control: Choose how often we text you
• Help Information: Reply HELP for assistance

For GDPR-Protected Individuals:

• Data Portability: Get your data in a machine-readable format
• Restriction of Processing: Put processing on pause
• Objection to Automated Decision-Making: Opt out of algorithmic decisions

To Exercise These Rights: Email us at help@upwardmarketinginc.com or use our online form when available. We promise to respond faster than government bureaucracy.

SMS/Text Messaging Terms (The Fine Print That's Actually Fine)

Opt-In Process:

• We only text people who explicitly opt in
• We'll confirm your consent via text or email
• You can opt in via web forms, keywords, or verbal consent

Message Frequency:

• Promotional messages: Up to 3 per week
• Transactional messages: As needed
• Emergency alerts: Only when absolutely necessary

Opt-Out Process:

• Text STOP to any number we text from
• We'll confirm your opt-out immediately
• You can also email us or call customer service

Costs:

• Message and data rates may apply
• We don't charge for the messages themselves
• Check with your carrier for their rates

Supported Carriers:

• All major US carriers supported
• International carriers: VARIES
• Contact us if you're having delivery issues

Cookies and Tracking (Digital Breadcrumbs Explained)

We use cookies and similar technologies to:

• Remember your preferences
• Keep you logged in
• Analyze site performance
• Serve relevant advertising (if we do that)

Types of Cookies We Use:

• Essential: Required for basic functionality
• Performance: Help us understand usage patterns
• Functionality: Remember your preferences
• Targeting: For relevant advertising (with your consent)

Managing Cookies:

• Browser settings let you control cookies
• Third-party opt-out tools are available
• Our cookie preference center (if we have one)

Data Security (Fort Knox for Your Information)

We protect your information using:

• Encryption: In transit and at rest
• Access Controls: Limited to authorized personnel only
• Regular Security Audits: By people who know what they're doing
• Secure Infrastructure: Industry-standard security measures
• Incident Response Plans: For when things go sideways

But Let's Be Real: No security is 100% perfect. If there's a breach, we'll tell you promptly and help you protect yourself.

Data Retention (How Long We Keep Your Stuff)

Active Account Data: While your account is active plus a reasonable period after

Marketing Data: Until you opt out or it becomes stale

Legal Compliance Data: As required by law

SMS Data: Message logs for legally required period of time for compliance purposes

Deletion Process:

• We delete data when no longer needed
• Some information may be retained in backups
• Legal requirements may extend retention periods

International Data Transfers (Your Data's World Tour)

If you're outside the US, your data might travel here for processing. We ensure adequate protection through:

• Standard Contractual Clauses
• Adequacy Decisions
• Your Explicit Consent
• Other Appropriate Safeguards

Children's Privacy (Protecting the Mini-Humans)

Our services are not intended for children under 13 (or 16 in the EU). If we discover we've collected information from a child, we'll delete it faster than they can say "TikTok."

If you're a parent who thinks we have your child's information, contact us immediately.

Changes to This Policy (Evolution in Action)

We'll update this policy when:

• Laws change
• Our practices change
• We get better at explaining things
• Lawyers make us do it

How We'll Notify You:

• Email to registered users
• Prominent website notice
• SMS notification (if you're opted in)
• Skywriting (just kidding)

Contact Us (When You Need Actual Humans)

Privacy Questions:

• Email: help@upwardmarketinginc.com
• Phone: 847-744-8600
• Mail: 915 Honeysuckle Dr, Wheeling, IL 60090

SMS-Related Issues:

• Text HELP to any number we message from
• Email: help@upwardmarketinginc.com
• Phone: 847-744-8600

Regulatory Compliance Statement

This policy is designed to comply with:

• GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation)
• CCPA (California Consumer Privacy Act)
• TCPA (Telephone Consumer Protection Act)
• CAN-SPAM Act
• COPPA (Children's Online Privacy Protection Act)
• HIPAA (if applicable to our services)
• FCC Regulations
• State and local privacy laws
• Common sense and basic human decency

Remember: This policy is a living document that evolves with our business and the legal landscape. We're committed to transparency, user control, and not being terrible with your personal information.

Last Updated: August 1st, 2025

Or: "The Rules of Engagement for Digital Humans"

Last Updated: August 1st, 2025 | Next Legal Reality Check: When terms actually get simpler

Welcome to the Grown-Up Table

Congratulations! You've stumbled upon the one Terms of Service document that doesn't read like it was written by robots for robots. These terms govern your use of our services, and unlike most legal documents, we've written this one in actual English.

The Deal: By using our services, you're agreeing to these terms. It's like a handshake, but with more legal weight and fewer germs.

Who We Are (And What We Do)

We are UpWard Marketing Inc, a corporation organized under the laws of Illinois. We provide marketing services through our website, mobile applications, SMS services, and other digital platforms.

Our Mission: To provide excellent service without treating you like a walking wallet or a data mining opportunity.

What These Terms Cover

These Terms of Service apply to:

• Our website and all its digital glory
• Mobile applications (when they work properly)
• SMS/text messaging services
• Email communications
• Customer support interactions
• Any other service we provide now or in the future

Geographic Reach: These terms apply globally, because the internet doesn't respect borders.

Account Registration (Join the Club)

Creating an Account:

• Provide accurate information (lying is bad for everyone)
• Choose a secure password (not "password123" or your pet's name)
• Keep your login credentials secure
• Notify us immediately if your account is compromised

Account Eligibility:

• You must be at least 18 years old (or the age of majority in your jurisdiction)
• You must have the legal capacity to enter contracts
• You must not be prohibited from receiving our services under applicable laws
• You must be a real human (sorry, AI overlords)

Account Responsibilities:

• Keep your information updated
• Don't share your account with others
• Use our services in accordance with these terms
• Pay your bills on time (revolutionary concept, we know)

Acceptable Use (How to Not Get Banned)

You MAY:

• Use our services for their intended purpose
• Share content you own or have permission to share
• Provide feedback and suggestions
• Refer friends (we like friends)
• Generally be a decent digital citizen

You MAY NOT:

• Use our services for illegal activities (obvious, but we had to say it)
• Spam other users or flood our systems
• Upload malicious code or viruses
• Impersonate others (unless you're a really good impressionist, but still no)
• Scrape, data mine, or otherwise abuse our systems
• Reverse engineer our services
• Use our services to compete with us (that's just rude)
• Violate anyone's intellectual property rights
• Harass, threaten, or abuse other users or our team
• Use our services in ways that could damage our reputation

Content Standards:

• No illegal content
• No hate speech or discriminatory content
• No graphic violence or adult content (unless that's specifically what we do)
• No false or misleading information
• No spam or unsolicited commercial messages

SMS/Text Messaging Terms (The Texting Rules)

Opting In:

• You must explicitly opt in to receive text messages
• We'll confirm your consent before sending marketing texts
• Different message types may require separate consent

Message Types:

• Transactional: Order confirmations, account updates, security alerts
• Promotional: Marketing messages, special offers, news updates
• Customer Service: Support responses, appointment reminders

Your Responsibilities:

• Provide accurate phone number information
• Notify us of number changes
• Ensure you're authorized to opt in the number
• Pay any carrier charges for receiving messages

Our Responsibilities:

• Honor opt-out requests immediately
• Send messages only to opted-in numbers
• Provide clear identification in messages
• Maintain reasonable message frequency

Opting Out:

• Reply STOP to any message to opt out
• Email us at help@upwardmarketinginc.com
• Call us at 847-8-744-8600
• We'll confirm your opt-out within 24 hours

Message Frequency:

• Marketing messages: Up to 3 per week
• Transactional messages: As needed
• You can adjust frequency preferences in your account

Carrier Information:

• Message and data rates may apply
• Supported on major US carriers
• Contact us for carrier-specific issues

Payment Terms (Show Me the Money)

Payment Methods:

• We accept credit cards, debit cards, and other methods as displayed
• All payments processed through secure, PCI-compliant systems
• You authorize charges when you place orders

Pricing:

• All prices displayed in US dollars
• Prices subject to change with notice
• Taxes calculated based on your location
• No hidden fees (we hate those too)

Billing:

• Recurring charges billed automatically
• Failed payments may result in service suspension
• You can update payment methods in your account
• Contact us for billing disputes

Refunds:

• Send refund requests to help@upwardmarketinginc.com
• Some services may be non-refundable
• We handle disputes fairly and promptly
• Chargebacks make everyone sad (please email us first)

Intellectual Property (The Creative Stuff)

Our Rights:

• We own our website, apps, content, trademarks, and other IP
• You can't use our stuff without permission
• This includes our logo, brand names, and proprietary content
• Fair use and linking are generally okay

Your Rights:

• You own content you create and share
• You grant us license to use your content for service delivery
• You can revoke this license by removing your content
• We won't use your content for unrelated purposes

User-Generated Content:

• You're responsible for content you submit
• Don't submit content you don't have rights to use
• We may remove content that violates these terms
• We're not responsible for user-generated content

Copyright Infringement:

• We respect intellectual property rights
• Report copyright violations to help@upwardmarketinginc.com
• We'll respond to valid DMCA takedown notices
• Repeat infringers will be terminated

Privacy and Data Protection

Privacy Policy Integration:

• Our Privacy Policy is incorporated by reference
• It explains how we handle your personal information
• Available on our Privacy Policy page
• Updated periodically with notice to users

Data Security:

• We implement reasonable security measures
• No system is 100% secure
• Report security issues immediately
• We'll notify you of significant breaches

International Users:

• Your data may be processed in the US
• We comply with applicable data protection laws
• EU users have additional rights under GDPR
• Contact our DPO at help@upwardmarketinginc.com with questions

Service Availability (When Things Don't Work)

Service Levels:

• We strive for high availability but don't guarantee 100% uptime
• Scheduled maintenance will be announced when possible
• Some service interruptions are beyond our control
• Critical issues are our top priority

Technical Support:

• Available via help@upwardmarketinginc.com
• Response times vary by issue complexity
• Self-service resources available in our help center
• We'll do our best to help, but we're not miracle workers

System Requirements:

• Modern web browser required
• Stable internet connection recommended
• Some features may require specific technical capabilities

Limitation of Liability (The Legal Shield)

Service Disclaimer:

• Services provided "as is" and "as available"
• We disclaim warranties to the fullest extent permitted by law
• We don't guarantee uninterrupted or error-free service
• Results may vary (like diet pills, but for digital services)

Liability Limits:

• Our total liability is limited to the amount you've paid us in the last 12 months
• We're not liable for indirect, consequential, or punitive damages
• This includes lost profits, data, or business opportunities
• Some jurisdictions don't allow these limitations

Force Majeure:

• We're not liable for delays caused by circumstances beyond our control
• This includes natural disasters, government actions, internet outages
• We'll resume service as soon as reasonably possible
• We'll communicate about significant disruptions

Indemnification (When You Break Things)

If your use of our services causes legal trouble, you agree to:

• Defend us against related claims
• Hold us harmless from damages
• Pay reasonable attorney fees and costs
• Cooperate in our defense

This applies when you:

• Violate these terms
• Infringe someone's intellectual property
• Violate applicable laws
• Generally cause problems through your actions

Account Termination (When Relationships End)

Your Right to Terminate:

• You can close your account anytime
• Contact customer service or use account settings
• Some obligations survive termination
• Prepaid fees generally aren't refundable

Our Right to Terminate:

• We can terminate accounts for terms violations
• We can suspend service for non-payment
• We may terminate with notice for business reasons
• We'll try to resolve issues before termination

Effects of Termination:

• Access to paid services ends
• Your data may be deleted after a reasonable period
• Some provisions of these terms survive
• Outstanding payments remain due

Dispute Resolution (Fighting Fair)

Informal Resolution:

• Contact us first at help@upwardmarketinginc.com
• We'll try to resolve issues promptly and fairly
• Most problems can be solved through communication
• Legal action should be a last resort

Binding Arbitration:

• Disputes resolved through individual arbitration
• Arbitration conducted under Illinois Uniform Arbitration Act
• Located in Illinois, USA
• No class actions or jury trials

Exceptions:

• Small claims court disputes allowed
• Intellectual property disputes exempt
• Injunctive relief requests exempt
• You can opt out of arbitration within 30 days

Governing Law:

• These terms governed by State of Illinois
• Federal law applies to federal issues
• Jurisdiction in Cook County, Illinois courts
• Choice of law rules don't apply

Modifications to Terms (When We Update Things)

How We'll Notify You:

• Email to registered users
• Prominent website notice
• SMS notification (if you're opted in for service updates)
• Account dashboard notification

Your Options:

• Continue using services means you accept changes
• Stop using services if you disagree with changes
• Close your account if needed
• Material changes get extra notice

Effective Date:

• Changes effective 30 days after notice
• Some changes may be effective immediately
• Emergency changes for security or legal compliance
• We'll explain the reason for immediate changes

Miscellaneous Legal Stuff (The Fine Print)

Entire Agreement:

• These terms and referenced policies constitute the complete agreement
• Supersede all previous agreements
• Can't be modified except in writing
• Integration clause applies

Severability:

• Invalid provisions don't invalidate the entire agreement
• We'll replace invalid provisions with enforceable alternatives
• Rest of the agreement remains in effect
• Courts may modify unreasonable provisions

Assignment:

• We can assign these terms to affiliated entities
• You can't assign your rights without our consent
• Rights and obligations bind successors
• Assignment doesn't relieve original obligations

Waiver:

• Our failure to enforce provisions isn't a waiver
• Waivers must be in writing
• Single waivers don't waive future violations
• We reserve all rights not expressly waived

Headings:

• Section headings are for convenience only
• Don't affect interpretation of terms
• Content controls over headings
• Used for navigation purposes

Compliance and Regulatory Information

These terms are designed to comply with:

• FTC Guidelines on advertising and marketing
• TCPA for SMS/text messaging
• CAN-SPAM Act for email communications
• GDPR for EU user rights
• CCPA for California residents
• COPPA for children's privacy
• Section 230 safe harbor provisions
• DMCA copyright safe harbors
• State consumer protection laws
• Industry-specific regulations (as applicable)

Contact Information (When You Need Real Humans)

General Questions:

• Email: help@upwardmarketinginc.com
• Phone: 847-744-8600
• Mail: 915 Honeysuckle Dr, Wheeling, IL 60090

Legal and Compliance:

• Email: david@rosenfeldlaw.net
• Phone: 312-920-9444
• Mail: 134 N LaSalle St, Chicago, IL 60602

SMS/Text Messaging Issues:

• Text HELP to any number we message from
• Email: help@upwardmarketinginc.com
• Phone: 847-744-8600

Billing and Account Issues:

• Email: help@upwardmarketinginc.com
• Phone: 847-744-8600

Final Thoughts (The Human Moment)

Look, we know terms of service are usually about as fun as a root canal performed by a caffeinated squirrel. But here's the thing - we actually want you to understand what you're agreeing to. We're not trying to trick you with legal jargon or bury important stuff in Section X subsections y and z

These terms exist to:

• Protect both of us legally
• Set clear expectations
• Explain how our relationship works
• Comply with regulations (because lawyers and governments are usually looking out for our well being... usually)

If something doesn't make sense, ask us. If you think something is unfair, tell us. We're humans running a business for other humans, and we believe in treating people right.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Now go use our service and hopefully have a great experience.

Effective Date: August 1st, 2025